Thoughts On Life

I am a husband and father, a businessman, and an avid practitioner of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ)... and I am passionate about them all. I strive for some sort of balance between all areas of my life, which is an ongoing challenge. Here I'll share my personal thoughts, stories, and insights on juggling family, self-care, and all that comes with owning a business.

Don’t fear failure. Embrace Your Scars.

Published in Life on November 4, 2017

I was recently asked what I would tell myself if I could go back ten years. Why are the simplest questions, the most difficult to answer?

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why it was so hard to answer. Everything I thought of felt shallow; as if it was either not impactful enough, or it’d be forecasting events. Neither were things that someone could take with them on their journey.

As I reflected on my past, I realized a common theme – I have made a lot of stupid decisions, I have failed a lot. Personally, professional, physically and everything else in between. I realized I have a certain disregard for failure, embracing the scars etched in me from those experiences.

If asked today, I would say: Don’t fear failure. Embrace your scars.

Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.

Some people see me and think, “That dude is successful,” others look and say “Damn, that dude is a tool” but that’s a conversation for another day. For those that perceive success, what they don’t see are the multiple battles experienced, and the impacts they’ve had – the scars they’ve left on me emotionally, physically, mentally. They don’t realize that the success they see has very little to do with being smart or proper planning, but a shit load of luck and a high-degree of stubbornness not to allow failures consume me.

The successes are nothing more than result of multiple failures, each building on the other.

Thankfully the more you fail, the better you get at it. I can’t quite articulate why that is, but you grow a certain aptitude for assessing situations and coincidently making better decisions. Like most things though, it’s a learned skill. It’s ironic, to get better at not failing you have to fail more.

The key is not the act of failing, but recognizing the failure quickly and adjusting accordingly. Your scars are for you alone to own, they will be the foundation from which you will be built on tomorrow. Wear your scars with pride.

Fighting for a Cause – Tap Cancer Out

Published in Life on December 19, 2015

I will be the first to admit that I have had a very fortunate life to date. I’ve been able to accomplish a lot over the years, sometimes more closely attributed to luck than skill, but I’ll take it regardless. One of the things I’ve picked up however is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ), it’s one of those things that has made one of the biggest impacts to my character, second only to the Marine Corps.

I’ve been actively competing since 2010, but only over the past 24 months have I started to get serious with it.

While I have been fortunate enough to travel, train and compete at will, it’s often been with the focus of either improving myself or helping the team. Rarely, for something much greater, a better cause.

Recently however, I came across an event that seemed to focus on something that was so much more important, so much more impactful. This is made sweeter by the fact that I was just promoted to Purple Belt last night, at Carlson Gracie Temecula and this event will be my first Purple belt event.

The Journey in Rebranding Your Personal Brand

Published in Life on June 16, 2015

It is only appropriate that as you grow, you take the time to reflect and reevaluate who you are as an individual. Over the past 24 months I’ve been undergoing such an experience. Today, I’m excited to launch something I have wanted to do for close to a year an a half – a rebrand of my personal online persona.

I did what most do, I realized I was in need of a change, but lacked the knowledge of how to go about doing it. I was unclear who I should enlist, and although in my head I felt I had a clear picture of what I wanted, when it came time to describe it, I quickly realized how little I actually knew.

A few months back, I was talking to my friend Chris Lema and began to flirt with the idea of acting on my pet project (a personal rebrand). I, however, lack the technical know-how – I’m neither a designer nor a developer, and so the task felt exhausting. It was important that I find a professional organization that could help me accomplish what I thought I wanted, but couldn’t clearly articulate.

Enlisting Professional Help

Over the past two years, or so, I’d seen Chris mention his friends Jennifer Bourn and Brian Bourn numerous times. They are the owners and operators of Bourn Creative. I had the luxury of meeting them at a few events, and enjoyed a few dinners here and there. Enough so that it felt as if we had built a relationship, at least enough of one that I felt comfortable telling them I needed a change, but had no idea how to start.

As a some-what technical person, I think it’s fairly common to think that there is little you can’t do yourself. While true, there is a difference between doing something, and doing it well. Could I have built something that worked? That was Functional? Absolutely! Would it have been what you see today? Not even close!

There is something elegant and amazing that you go through as you try to redefine, or better yet, understand who you are today. I think too often, as humans, we get stuck remembering who we were yesterday, and the idea of change is frightening. Our friends remind us everyday, “Bro, why do you talk like that?”, “Dude, since when do you do that?”

The reality however is that you evolve as a human. There is some point in life where you go through different phases, and you often become those people you said you’d never become. I’ve personally come to terms with the fact that I’m no longer a teenager, or young adult. I think I actually crossed that line years ago, but only over the past 12 months have I come to terms with it. Jennifer helped me realize this, not in words but in beautiful design. She crafted an image of who she perceived me to be, and what she felt best represented who I am.

To me, that’s more than I could have every imagined! It wasn’t about who I wanted to be, or who I was, but who I am today and what I want people to perceive. She got that from the first conversation, all the way to deployment! Then there was Brian, the quiet one, but the brain able to bring to life this beautiful piece of art that his wife so carefully crafted with her finally tuned digital brush.

Thank you Bourns! Love my new design! To the rest of you, enjoy the site and feel free to get lost in its eloquence.

The Lessons Learned: My 120 lb Journey

Published in Life on November 28, 2014

On November 22nd, 2014 I hit my goal weight of 190 lbs. A weight I haven’t seen, or felt, in over 14 years and a journey I started over 18 months ago.

The decision to start this journey was not one that came easily. I had grown complacent and satisfied with life. I could not see or appreciate what I looked like, felt, or what others saw.

In my eyes, the feedback I would receive was bias and nothing more than exaggeration, amplification of the truth, all in an effort to make me believe in something I wasn’t mentally ready to believe.

I was obese. The impacts of my obesity weren’t just impacts to me, but impacts to my children as well.

The Ultimate Optimist: 25 years no Internet

Published in Life on April 28, 2013

Pretty awesome read, talks to how the internet blew the mind of a prisoner locked up for 25 years. More importantly what he was able to do while serving time to leverage the internet in ways that would prove beneficial when he got out.

I want you to think about that, imagine being away for 25 years and in that time the big biggest technological advancement, in terms of societal impact, is introduced. There are people today that aren’t incarcerated, and have had the luxury to see the internet blossom that are mind blown by what they see.

Pretty awesome story, more awesome to see the results and how he was able to build his online persona for 10 years without ever being able to touch a computer.

Wish him all the best.

Check Out The Article

Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.

Robert Brault

Communicate Simply

Published in Life on November 27, 2012

We have this Message Of the Day that is plastered at the top of our support queue. We use it share something of insight to the team, it’s not always insightful but it’s usually quite amusing. Today was no different.

Today’s message of the day was provided by our Founder, Daniel Cid, and it went a little something like this:

Me to my dad: “I’m a security architect and I do malware research”. My dad to his friends: “My son fixes computers. He can fix yours”

That made me laugh hysterically because it reminded me of my own conversations with my mom a few years back and it went a little something like this:

WP Late Night #15: My First Podcast

Published in Life on June 28, 2012

Following up on my post this morning, talking to my experience on WPLate Night, WPCandy released last nights live recording this afternoon, so go check it out.

Oh and special thanks to the guys at WP LateNight for getting my good side in the banner:

Look forward to feedback. I always feel funny listening to myself, but don’t think it came out too bad.

Check It Out

Loving My New Office Setup – Rocking New 27″ iMac

Published in Life on April 8, 2012

I recently wrote a post about the Keys to Working From Home, this adds to that post. In the post I talk to a number of things that helped me be successful working from home. I specifically spoke to being comfortable in your workspace. Carrying on when with that philosophy I decided to make a new investment.

My prior set up had two notebooks, one with a Windows setup and one with a Linux setup. As much fun as that was, working between the different environment environment became a bit cumbersome and my desk started to look a bit chaotic with all the keyboards and mice and the sort.

Keys to Working From Home

Published in Life on January 25, 2012

A few years back I tried working from home with one of my 9 to 5 jobs. It didn’t work out as well as I had hoped. I remember talking with some of my former colleagues and friends recently and when I told them I was going to do my own thing, working from home, most of their responses were, rightfully so, “Didn’t you do that already, and didn’t that not work for you?” I would often find myself chuckling and sheepishly replying, “Yeah…”

It’s been a few months now and I couldn’t help but take a minute and share some of the things that have helped me this time around. There are three things I decided to place special emphasis on:

Dedicated Working Space
Comfortable Working Space
Personal Time

Focusing on 2012…

Published in Life on January 3, 2012

Most are posting about 2011, yet I can’t help but focus on the coming year…

I cannot remember a year where my goals and my plan to hit those goals were so clear. While not old, I am old enough to know that its about a manageable strategy to success that counts.

WordCamp Las Vegas: Day Two (Morning After Day One)

Published in Life on December 16, 2011

Gah, you would think that after a night out in Vegas what I would be recovering from would most likely be a severe hang over or case of alcohol poisoning, but no, that’s not the case. Instead what I am recovering from is half the cow, whole pig, and half the bottle of vodka they poured into my milkshake. Yes, all this courtesy of Heart Attack Grill right off Freemont and Las Vegas Blvd.

As if the name was not enough, they have a giant sign in the front that read 350 lbs eats for free. Oh and did I mention that they have this huge scale in the middle of the room too?

I can’t even think of the words that best describe the size and greasiness of this burger. It was only a double, but it had to be held up with a stick. If weighed, I’d have to put it at a little under 1 lb. As if that was not enough they piled it with 10 slices of bacon, not those thin slices of bacon, good 3 mm slices. The fries, well those were just fried lard. I don’t think there was single potato wedge in there.

Ashamed – Bad Blogger

Published in Life on December 12, 2011

I cannot believe that my last post was July 28th of this year. It was while I was home on R&R from Afghanistan. How the time flies…To catch everyone up… this is what I’ve been up to the past couple of months…

Afghanistan

Some know, some don’t, I spent about 5.5 months in Afghanistan with one of my 8 to 5 jobs. For those that didn’t know while focusing on CubicTwo and Sucuri I have also been holding down an 8 to 5 job. What can I say, I’m a gluten for punishment.

Well, I am happy to report that I am no longer going to Afghanistan, at least not in the foreseeable future. I actually quit that company. Let’s just say we didn’t see eye to eye on a couple of key issues. It happens, what can I say…

Know it and Done it All’s

Published in Life on June 29, 2011

This is funny that I’m writing about this because some might say that I fall into this category, but I can’t help but think there are worst people than myself out there…:D

Granted, everyone has a topic or two that they are intimately familiar with and as such are able to engage and provide good sound advice and input. Then there are those people that just don’t shut up.